When I was at the “Eclectic Vintage Freakout” sale in Berkeley last Saturday, I came across something that really made me laugh. It made the sellers laugh, too, but they were ready to get it out of their house. It was only a quarter, but I decided not to buy it, asking instead if I could just take a picture. They said sure — although they did try to convince me that I really wanted it. I told them I’d give them 50 cents to take the picture and not bring it home, but kindly they didn’t make me pay up.

I am having a teensy bit of regret at leaving it behind, but I think just having the picture is really good enough.

It’s not just the wacky gag-gift nature of this item that cracks me up. That hair! That pose! That wacky copywriting! Ah, what a fine piece of ’80s debris. I didn’t take it out of the box, but I think it’s basically some kind of two-balloon apparatus that you can inflate on demand.

My almost-sincere apologies to anyone who ended up here because they were looking for real super boobs.